Nine Tips for Surviving a Chicago Winter

First: I want to acknowledge that there are many, many places with worse winters than Chicago. There is all of Canada, for instance, which I am pretty sure is imaginary anyway, or I would think so if it weren’t for

Posted in Modern Life

Ladies, Are You Quirky Enough?

The other day I came downstairs after changing out of my work clothes. I had changed into a gigantic Stanford sweatshirt, paint-splattered leggings, and tube socks, because I had pretty much given up on the day and also life, like

Posted in People Who Suck

The smartphone DTs, or, I have become what I hated

Among the many valid complaints my husband has about me is the fact that I am terrible with cell phones. Over the last, what, 12 years or so that I’ve owned a cell phone (we were late adopters) I have

Posted in Modern Life, People Who Suck

Things More Important Than Crunches, or, My Life in Pictures

The latest pretty, admirably fit lady to post a photo of her post-childbirth abs looking like very athletic snakes coiled in formation under the skin of her stomach is Caroline Berg Eriksen, a fitness blogger and the wife of a soccer

Posted in Entertainment / Media, Family / Kids, Modern Life

5 Ways to Drive Your Dino Wild

Perhaps you’ve seen articles in your Facebook feed or your brown-paper-covered magazines about the latest in erotica for emotionally damaged people – dinosaur erotica. You read that right. With titillating titles like Taken by a T-Rex and Running from the

Posted in Modern Life, People Who Suck

My Fantasy Casting for Fifty Shades of Grey, or, an Erotic Movie Journey

So by now everyone’s read Fifty Shades of Grey, right? You know, except for the people like me who make a point of saying that they haven’t. Those would be the same people who refuse to read a book with

Posted in Entertainment / Media

Four More Facebook Ruiners

Sometimes, you log on to Facebook to kill some time while you’re standing in line for the bathroom at Zit Popping Con 2013, and you’re just looking to be mildly entertained for a bit, right? Like, it’s hard enough to

Posted in Entertainment / Media, Modern Life, People Who Suck

18 Buzzfeed Slideshows You Must See

15 Minor Wounds That Might Be Infected 19 Hairy Feet You Must Pet 38 Dead Cockroaches in the Cutlery Drawer 7 Partially Full Hotel Bottles of Shampoo 22 Screws of Indeterminate Origin 48 Gas Station Bathrooms To Excrete In Before

Posted in Entertainment / Media, Modern Life

The Time Be Upon Us for Shut Up Like A Pirate Day

Avast, me hearties! Arrrr you ready to end Talk Like A Pirate Day yet? Because I surely be. So I be presentin’ a proposal to ye: let us make September 20 Shut Up Like A Pirate Day to be givin’

Posted in Entertainment / Media, Modern Life, People Who Suck

Cleveland Fans Trade Browns to Indianapolis for DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket Package

In a shocking development, football fans in Cleveland struck a deal late Wednesday evening to trade the entire Browns organization to Indianapolis in exchange for the rights to view actual NFL teams playing actual NFL football. “We’ve been weighing our

Posted in Sports